People are funny about Karma and God's Will. A lot of Karma believers will go full-hackle-up if you suggest something is God's Will but think Karma makes perfect sense. Then, when you try and suggest that it is not possible for a child to have done anything to deserve to be horribly abused or starved to death, they pull the prior life card. They are paying for something in a past life. Really? That's as ridiculous as it being God's Will. What you are doing is implementing a belief system to try and help you solve unsolvable math. Eventually you are going to have to face the fact that the answer isn't in the back of the book.
If Karma does exist, it sure isn't fair, which I think is the principle tenant of something being Karmic. Some people are asked to pay a whole hell of a lot for doing the same things that other people pay nothing for. Really good amazing people die too soon and they don't just die, they die in horrible ways. Like what the hell did you do, over however many lifetimes, to deserve to be beheaded on international TV? I am sure someone has an answer. And I am glad for you that you do, but whatever it is, I don't buy it. To be clear, I don't believe that was God's Will either. And if it was God's Will.....? Well then God is an Asshole.
Don't get me wrong. I am a believer. I have to be because my sobriety depends on it. Plus the math of belief finally made sense. I have struggled my whole life with drugs and alcohol. I have also spent my whole life rejecting the idea of something bigger than me that I can depend on. Yet, as soon as I decided I had no idea what I was doing, gave up, and decided to believe that as long as I stayed clean and sober I would be taken care of for the rest of my life? Boom! It's better here. But not because I have paid back my Karmic debt or God likes me better or I said enough Hail Mary's. It is better because, for the most part, I have stopped struggling......even though the struggles are all still there. In fact, every once in a while I jump head first into the struggle, just to see if by some chance something has changed, but it never does.
It is better simply by believing that it is not up to me to figure anything out. That the reason is nothverything. That there is no rhyme or reason to anything. But I am going to be ok, anyways. Bad things happen to really amazing people through no fault of their own or God's. Nothing equals out, not a lot makes sense, somedays are diamonds and some days are stones and I have no idea what factors go into making either kind of day get that result. My Dad still got Cancer even though he is the most wonderful man on the planet. My Mom still has horrible, degenerative arthritis and has to have all of her parts replaced, despite being kind and loving and more generous than almost anyone I have ever known. There are innocent people on Death Row. Michael Vick still gets to play football. None of it is fair. None of it is justified. It is just happening. Nothing and Everything. All mattering at the same time.
It is the belief that saves you. Not what you believe in. When you start trying to describe it, it stops making sense. It is the belief that saves you. Nothverything.
Have a good week.
Don't get me wrong. I am a believer. I have to be because my sobriety depends on it. Plus the math of belief finally made sense. I have struggled my whole life with drugs and alcohol. I have also spent my whole life rejecting the idea of something bigger than me that I can depend on. Yet, as soon as I decided I had no idea what I was doing, gave up, and decided to believe that as long as I stayed clean and sober I would be taken care of for the rest of my life? Boom! It's better here. But not because I have paid back my Karmic debt or God likes me better or I said enough Hail Mary's. It is better because, for the most part, I have stopped struggling......even though the struggles are all still there. In fact, every once in a while I jump head first into the struggle, just to see if by some chance something has changed, but it never does.
It is better simply by believing that it is not up to me to figure anything out. That the reason is nothverything. That there is no rhyme or reason to anything. But I am going to be ok, anyways. Bad things happen to really amazing people through no fault of their own or God's. Nothing equals out, not a lot makes sense, somedays are diamonds and some days are stones and I have no idea what factors go into making either kind of day get that result. My Dad still got Cancer even though he is the most wonderful man on the planet. My Mom still has horrible, degenerative arthritis and has to have all of her parts replaced, despite being kind and loving and more generous than almost anyone I have ever known. There are innocent people on Death Row. Michael Vick still gets to play football. None of it is fair. None of it is justified. It is just happening. Nothing and Everything. All mattering at the same time.
It is the belief that saves you. Not what you believe in. When you start trying to describe it, it stops making sense. It is the belief that saves you. Nothverything.
Have a good week.
I love you more every day of my life!!
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