Let's do the Time Warp.....Again.

Now that I am almost forty and super-wise I have been thinking a lot about time.  A LOT.  I think a lot about lots of things, but probably none more than I do time.  Time fascinates me.  I don't go quite as far as worm holes and other dimensions because my brain is too linear and stalls at anything that is of a higher grade of science or math; BUT I am convinced that time is weird (which is my version of deep scientific/mathematical thought).

I think my issue with time is how loosey-goosey the measurement of it feels.  For example, I have been thinking a lot about my other decade birthdays and all of them feel like they were 100 years ago.  Now, even with my limited math skills, I know this is not possible....they are in reality 30, 20 and 10 years ago but that's not how it feels.  Which is the crux of the matter. Time is weird to me because even though it is measured in a black and white context of math: minutes, days, years, etc. I interpret time by how it feels. For example, some hours at work, particularly in meetings, feel like they are literally lasting for days at a time; but they are just as 60 minutes long as the best Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Grey's Anatomy episode that goes by in an instant and that I can sit through 3 times (it is actually probably more like three hundred times but that would be embarrassing to admit out loud).

There are a million examples of this time dichotomy which is probably why I spend so much time thinking about it (that and the fact that I am crazy and my brain is on fire).  I am probably also thinking about it a lot right now because it is birth month and decade birthdays are momentous (see....our entire language is FILLED with time--"right now", "decade", "momentous").  We are surrounded by time, reminded of time, sing songs about time..(in a bottle, or too much of it on my hands)..but personally, I am only beginning to respect time and in turn use it a little more wisely.

Time for me has become a lot like the ocean (stay with me here).  It is incredibly powerful and expansive, yet limited in it's resources, and precious.  At times it is overwhelming to think about how much time is left, whether you are wanting something to end sooner, start faster, never get here or last forever.  Sometimes time is calm and seemingly boring.....and then out of nowhere it sneaks up on you and over-powers you and makes you feel like you are fighting for breath.  When you surf which I used to do "a million years ago" (it is really more like twenty but you get my point), I spent a lot of time waiting on the ocean for the "right" wave.  Not too big, not too puny, not too crowded, not too scary, not too a lot of things (I probably shouldn't even call it surfing because I spent most of it laying on my board but that screws up the analogy). Needless to say, a lot of ocean passed me by.  Time has been very much a similar experience, a lot of it has passed me by because I was stuck on my board waiting for a better wave. While I don't regret the past or wish to shut the door on it (AA speak), I wish I had known the deep limitations of time a lot sooner than three days before forty, but to use another time reference.....better late than never.

I hope this next decade is full of time well spent.  I think I am getting better at using my time wisely and spending time doing things I care about.  I won't go so far as to say that time is on my side....but time is of the essence and every moment I am alive, I have all of the time in the world even if it is flying by.....and since I can't stop all of this time talk (sigh), let's end with a song.  A song from a movie.  A song from a movie about drug addiction and wasted youth which seems fitting. A song where the original version pales in comparison to the original.  Sorry Simon and Garfunkel.

Here's to having more time than Less Than Zero.  MEH + RDJ=TLF

http://youtu.be/TxrwImCJCqk