Out Of Words

I have a bad case of the jumbles.  Yes, the jumbles.  It is so a word.  It is when you have too many thoughts in your head and at first they seemingly have nothing to do with each other, but then, after thinking them all at once for days, you start to see they have a common thread that seems important.  Only the common thread is caught somewhere in a tangled mess which makes you think even more thoughts, which leads to more tangles, and on, and on.....It's the Jumbles.

I missed a week of writing so I think that probably has everything to do with it.  I am also struggling to find things to talk about.  I know hardly anyone is going to believe that but it's true.  I am out of words.  My Dad used to say that a lot.  He's not known for being much of a talker and occasionally, when prompted to contribute something to the conversation, he will simply say, "I am out of words".   The explanation for this is great.  He believes you get a certain amount of words in a lifetime.  So, because we all spend an unbelievable amount of time talking (even more now with the advent of social media and text and e-mail and sky-writing), at some point you have to ration and make conscious choices....is this conversation, this debate, this issue, this e-mail, this text.....is it worth using my words on?  Like I said.  He doesn't talk much and in my old age, I am beginning to understand why.

For example, the election on Tuesday.  I used to have lots of words about politics and elections and issues.  Oh man, the words I used to have.  Not just spoken words, either.  I used to have t-shirts with words, bumper-stickers, buttons....I knew facts.  I could quote experts on issues and debate.  Good lord in St. Petersburgh could I debate.  And argue.  And say words.  This year, however, I am out of words about the election results.  I voted, of course.  I would never not vote.  But I am even out of words about people who don't vote.  Because their reasons can not possibly be based on anything resembling logic.  So there is no point to speak words.  Nothing I can say in this blog is going to change the mind of a person who has consciously decided not to vote. How could it?  There is no legitimate reason not to vote if you have the right to do so.   Now, that's not to say that people don't have their reasons and that their reasons aren't based on some notion or feeling that makes perfect sense to them. But that doesn't make it legitimate.   People can give you reasons for lots of things that are not based on anything resembling logic or legitimate facts. Maybe it's a religious preference (not logical), maybe they didn't have time (not legitimate), maybe they think by not voting they are voting (really not logical or legitimate), but whatever, they have themselves convinced and I am out of words.  Same thing with the results of the election.

What I've read says that the swing in congress was basically a vote against Obama (who wasn't running for anything, but o.k.). And I just have absolutely nothing to say to states and people who vote against their own economic and social interests. What do you say? To an economically disadvantaged person who just voted for a Senator who wants to repeal the ACA which is the only thing allowing said voter to get health care? What is the point? People hate this president.  They hate the ACA.  Whether it works or not, whether it is good idea or not, it came from the wrong person, who is from the wrong party, so they HATE IT.  Even though it helps them.  Here's the thing....I know first hand that the ACA is working.  In the microcosm of the country where I work in the health care field, we are seeing the results of people having access to health care.  Our revenue is increasing.  We are fully staffed.  People, who otherwise would not have had access to care are getting care.  It works.  However, if given the opportunity to go back in time to 2012, the massive majority of voters in the county where I work, where Obama overwhelmingly lost, could vote again, with that knowledge?  Nothing would change. Obama would lose again.  Maybe by even more.  Why? Because facts don't matter.  Not in this county and not in this country and thus, I am out of words.  I simply cannot have a conversation and use my words if we get to use anything we want as reasons for things.  It's not a fair fight.  You get to use gorilla warfare and I have to play by the rules. You get God and I get Science.  You get feelings and I get facts and on all of those battlefields, I am outmatched. So I quit.  I am out of words.  Not all words.  But pretty much any words that have to do with politics and power-struggles and personal attacks or agendas based on feelings or beliefs that don't have to adhere to anything factual.  Globally, nationally, vocationally, etc.  Out. Of. Words.

So.  Here we are.  I am out of words and trying to write a blog and you are reading the blog and expecting words.....and it just got weird.  So I am going to say this is a good place to stop blogging.  Not forever, but certainly for today.  I still have words left in me but I am going to save them and use them on things that require the due diligence of all parties to show up on equal footing.

Good luck out there.  Try and be thoughtful.  Try and be just.  Try to think beyond you. Try and be conscious of your words.....they aren't infinite.

*kiss*