Unspoken Word One

"For Heather"

Last night I came home full
Drunk on human input
Worn down by the restless nagging
of working in human service systems
That can be anything but humane

And we went to WalMart
to buy diapers
Because that is what social workers do
And that is what you do for me
On date night

I could barely speak words and
just wandered the aisles
Trying to make thoughtful food choices
in the belly of the beast
I bought almonds and freaked out over Turkey Jerky

Then I came home and complained about being tired
Complained myself into being awake
Then was restless and inconsiderate in the good bed
Trying to calculate the impact on all of the planet
of eating a banana

Now you are gone
Back on days on and we go back to
seeing each other awake for 100 minutes a day
I told you I loved you and kissed you goodbye
But we always do that

Its not easy here
I am like a fish out of water
On a good day
And you love me which is an act of heroism
And I meant to say more than I love you.

I meant to be better
I meant to be better all of the time
And I love you isn't
nearly as important as I am grateful for you
You are my sustenance even in WalMart

Have a good day.